yeaa i dont really feel like blogging but im gonna force myself to...
im sick of the way things are... as they have been for years.
i want to change myself... to be better.. but i cant,
i need help to change. to stop doing things... and to start doing other things.
im lonely, a fair bit depressed.. drifting through life with no real purpose. i keep asking myself those questions over and over - where am i going? what am i doing? when will things be different??
why cant i change?
i have friends, but no-one real close.
im really confused about some things in my life... confused about what to do. my feelings inside. i feel hopelessness... mixed with anger (at myself), self-loathing, sadness, yearning to be something other than what i am, what im doing. i give up easily or i just dont start anything, cause i hav no motivation.
i really dont know what i need. but i need something. i feel like theres a gaping hole in my heart... where something vital should be. i keep crying out for help inside but it feels like im suffocating.
dont wanna become hard and cold inside.. i wanna stay warm and friendly but i feel myself slowly going numb to the world... to everything. i wanna get away from where i am now in life.
i know this all sounds emo but im just putting what i feel now onto the page - the state im in now.
No comments:
Post a Comment